Back in School and New Beginnings

Matt and Alex went back to school this morning and even though the weather was uncooperative I know it is going to be a good day. So currently I have a fourth grader,second grader, pre-k, and a two year old. God time flies.

So last night I took the foam off of hair rollers and placed it between my forehead and mask. It worked really well and was able to go to sleep. The Ambien helped too!

This is going to be my year. I can feel it. I am ready to go back to work, feel good about myself, and take my life into new directions. I hope you all are willing to go on the ride with me. To a new and healthy new year!

Cpap Hell

I received my machine on Sunday knowing that either I am going to embrace cpap therapy or I am going to hate the whole thing. After trying on a couple masks I decided that ultimately a full face mask might be best for me since I breath through my mouth and nose when I sleep. Fast forward to Sunday night.

I put the mask on and take an Ambien. I had to repeat the ramp setting three or four times before I finally fell asleep. The worst past of the mask is the hard plastic that touches your forehead. I have to keep the mask tight so it doesn't leak thus making the mask uncomfortable to wear. I feel like someone is smothering me and it makes my just want to rip the whole thing off. I really don't like to be touched especially when I am sleeping. Good thing my husband works nights and usually I have the bed to myself.

I tried again last night and after wrestling with the thing for two hours just took it off. I need to find away to make the forehead part more comfortable or I am going to need a different mask. I am going to try and put foam between the plastic and my head. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Oh Crap I need a C-PAP

So I got the call," you need to go back to the dreaded sleep lab for test with cpap" We all know how well that worked out the first time. So now I will be wrestling to sleep with the wires and have a machine blowing air up my nose. Sounds like fun huh.

But this is the last of the requirements that I need to finish before I can go back the surgeon and schedule the surgery. I will continue to move forward and realize that this is another a small hurdle in my path, but one I can jump over.

But if anyone is reading the blog and wants to know about the other testing let me know. The pysch. eval was very long and originally I didn't get approved. I had to go back and talk to a therapist who said that I knew what I was doing. The original pychiatrist thought that I would go back to emotional eating and didn't give me the benefit of the doubt. That is ok, they are only trying help me be successful. Wow that really shows some growth on my part. I spent most of last thursday crying about it and saying that everything always has to be hard time for me. The good news is that I didn't hit the ice cream while I was upset.

When you Can't Sleep at the Sleep Study

I think I might have jinxed myself when I told everyone about all my testing. Things have been going really fast and appointments have been going very well. Until last Thursday. I had to go for my sleep study. What is so hard about going to sleep? You go to bed everynight,fall asleep relatively quickly and wake up a new person. RIGHT? well most of the time.

I went to the sleep lab with my bag of nighttime stuff, nightgown, toothbrush, book and went in to the lab already tired. I think this going to be a piece of cake, everyone who has had the surgery has to do and they make it through.

The techs ask what time do I want to go to bed and then they'd give me a ten minute heads up so they can hook me up to the wires. I watched the Big Brother eviction and then a little after 9:00 they say it is time for me to get ready for bed. So I head down the brightly lit hallways to the bathroom and get ready.

The techs rub goop on my head and one by one wire up this box that will check to see if I have sleep apnea. No problems so far and I get into bed. That is when they say you have to put a nasal oxygen tube in your nose and wire that goes between the nose and mouth. I can feel the panic starting. I don't like things touching my face and this was starting a mild panic attack inside my brain.

I lay down and know this is going to be harder than I thought. I am not a back sleeper at all and now my brain is racing with I just wanted to get this over with and move on. "Sheri you need to go to sleep,Sheri you have to go to sleep" was running through my head. I tried deep breathing, praying to God to help me get through this. Nothing is working. I ask to put on the tv which I fall asleep to at home.

I got to the bathroom down the hall. I try again, no sleep is coming, the mind is on a loop of panic, I can't breathe with this stupid thing up my nose and I have to do this.

Four trips to the bathroom and not falling asleep at ALL. At 4:30 they say I can go home and we'd try again some other day. I cried part of the way home was weepy the rest of the day. The doctor calls and tells me not to worry they'd give me ambien next time and I should fall asleep.

Now is the waiting game of hoping a cancellation happens so I can do the test again. The lack of not knowing when or if I am going to get the phone call soon to have the test again is making me anxious.

So as things stay now I still have to pass the psych. eval and sleep test.

Gallbladder ultrasound and Surgeon Appointment.

So tommorow morning I have the gallbladder ultrasound. I have no idea what to expect. I don't think I will have stones but maybe I do. Most people after having gastric bypass will end up with stones so if you already have them then they will take your gallbladder out during gastric bypass.

I meet Dr. Pohl for the first time on Thursday. I am feel anxious and nervous about the appointment. It is hard to actually say this is a huge problem for me and can you help. I am sure it will workout in the end. I really would like to get past all the testing and onto the actually after surgery part. Life is about to change and hopefully for the better.

Ok I am going to put it out there!

For many years I have thought that I would want to have gastric bypass. I don't talk about my weight with anyone and I don't like people to bring it up with me. Let's face it, it is embarrassing to say I need help with this. Well, after much thought and seeing a good friend going through her journey I decided it is time to take the bull by the horns. Howard and I went to the seminar of Dr. Pohl's at Roger Williams Hospital and thought I am going to do this.

So with appointments made and referrals coming along I am in the beginning of my journey. I had a physical and will be seeing the surgeon at the beginning of July. And if anyone in my family comes across the blog and reads this, know that it is a decision that I have thought out. Please be supportive and I really do know that I am fat so you don't need to remind me of it. It is a somewhat long process of testing but I am going to take a deep breath and say the words that I have a hard time saying,"I need help."

The Reverse Mohawk(thanks Jim for the title)

Well it is summer time and I had four little boys that have the look of monchichi's. I decided it is time to give the short buzz cut for the summer. Evan's hair has only been cut once so I didn't even know if it was thick enough to buzz or if he'd sit still but I was going to try. I planned on giving Jacob and Evan their hairdo in the afternoon and the other two later that night.

Let me first say that I have done the buzz cut on them a few times already because they say their dad makes it hurt. I add lubricant before and during the buzz so it shouldn't pull their thick hair. That's a mommy for ya. Anyways, I did Jacob's hair first and it came out great. I didn't cut his skin around the ear and it was all one length. My confidence was running high so I was going to see if I could buzz Evan.

I sat him on the sink and I thought this is either going to work or I'd be heading to snip-its to fix the damage I was going to cause. I put the 3/4 inch guide on and took a deep breath. So far, so good, no tears. And it came out all good if I say so myself. No tears and only one cut on the back of his ear. I couldn't believe the luck I was having. Two down two to go and maybe I would cut Howard's hair too if he asked.

Alex is my easiest hair cut. He doesn't move and as long as I don't take too long he doesn't complain. I buzz him up and vacuum the red pile of hair on the floor. If all my kids were like him I would be one lucky mama. Minus the picky eating of course.

On to the pita (pain in the ass) thick as molasses, father of all monchichi hair Matthew. He does not like to cut his hair at all and will complain from the moment you start until he gets out of the shower. "What are you going to do? How short are you going to make it? How many times are you going to go around?" Matt asks. I hadn't even started yet and it was almost 9pm. And after 8:30 it is my time to relax after a long day so I am getting cranky. I am sure you can imagine my side of the conversation. I buzz him real short because his hair grows like someone pored Miracle Grow on it after a week. I shape around his ears and neck and sent him on his way to the shower.

Finally I can put the little chicks to bed and move onto enjoy the rest of my night. As I am changing Evan's diaper and putting him in pjs I hear the vacuum running, no big deal. Then Jacob comes running into the bedroom with a strip of hair missing right down the center of his head. "What did you do?" I yelled. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. There is no way I can fix it without making him literally bald.

Deep breath, count to 10 and I begin the process of trying to fix the unfixable other than waiting. I take the rest of his hair to 1/16th and hope the strip will grow fast. Where is that miracle grow when you need it? You can still see the strip slightly but I think I can fix it in a week or so. I finish and throw him in the shower for the second time that day.

I go back downstairs and grab a Mike's Lemonade out of the fridge and put together a fan for Matt' room. Fun times at the Warsofsky house and it never ends. Howard says maybe you should write a note to explain to the teacher why he looks the way he does. I do and I can imagine the laughs they will have knowing Jacob the way they do.

I wish I had taken a picture it when first happened so you can plainly see the reverse Mohawk. Maybe when he gets off the bus I will take one of the baldy.