If I Could...

I came across a photo of myself from 13 years ago holding the newly born Matthew and thought of all the things that have changed since then. I thought at the time that my kids were going to be very smart, athletic and have the world at their feet ready for them to explore. Instead, I have children who struggle in school, only play a few plays during a game, and money is tightly watched.  Are they suffering or was I a total failure as a parent to provide all that I thought I would have been able to give?

In a round about way, maybe I am. I don't read to them as much as I should. I have allowed them to not be responsible with chores or their belongings as I pick up for them. I make excuses for their misbehavior and hope it gets swept under the rug. I don't care about grades or the parent/teacher conferences when I take them as a reflection on me.

On the other hand, I have four boys who ask me to cuddle with  them on the couch. I have a child who will hold out his hand to hold mine while I drive. My kids think I am the best baker on the planet when I make a special treat or cake.  And my son thought that I was awesome because I made him hot chocolate not from a mix.

I may not be the best mom, but I will be their best cheerleader and one of the loudest on the bleachers when their names is called out.  And even on the days when I consider it a success just to have them sent to school with clean faces and and wrinkle free clothes, I'll take it. Because I know in the thirteen years I've been a mom I know I have done some of the best work I could do.

-s

Can someone explain this to me?

It seems like there is always money made at someone's expense or tragedy.  This morning, I  put on the news like I do every morning to listen to the latest forecast and headline news.  In light of last weeks unbelievable shooting of innocent lives and teachers I would have hoped that America would have come to its senses with regard to semiautomatic weapons and the ability to buy them.

When the Constitution was written, and the second amendment was added, it did not have the types of weaponry that we have today at our disposal. The news said there has been record high selling of high powered rifles sold since Friday, some the same model as what was used to kill.  I am not going to say that all guns should be taken off the market.  If you are a responsible adult who uses those guns for true protection or hunting then you have that right to securely keep a weapon. However, I have never, nor will I, believe that the common citizen should have a semiautomatic weapon in their home.

In a matter of seconds a shooter has the ability to wipe out a multitude of lives before a moment of clarity can happen.  These guns should be only used by law enforcement and our military, who have been trained to use such a weapon that has a high potential to kill many people in a fraction of a second.  And to hear people running out to buy these guns before a ban on semiautomatic weapons gets reinstated I feel it is like a slap on the memory of those children and teachers.  That is my two cents and I don't ask people to agree with me but these are my feelings.

Pull them off the market and pull them out of the homes that have them. There really is no need to believe that anyone in society needs these weapons in their homes.  And if you think we are that close to a societal breakdown then maybe you should seek help from a mental health professional about the realities of life before we have another person lost because of a mental breakdown.

Dear Santa,

I have been trying really hard to be good this year.  If I make the nice list, this is my Christmas wishes....

1.How cute is this!!! And its pink.

2.I think I could pull off this sweater. What do you think?

3.Someday I would like to take great pictures of the boys and maybe finally get a family photo that we've never done.
4.My kids want one so it must be good, plus I actually listen to music on my ipod.
5. In my dreams I would totally rock this dress.
6.Winter running here I come!!!
7. Not sure if I would run any faster but I like the color which is half the battle.

8.  I could go back to my childhood roots and pretend I'm wonderwoman like when I was three in  my underoos.
9. They say I can cook spaghetti and meatballs in one pot in under a half hour.  SCORE!!!

10.  An appointment with Dr. Katzen to help fix the body issues that I still have.  I'll take a 360 lift and implants.  He should be at the top of the list because he is the one I need most of all.

So Santa,  not that I am expecting any of this to appear under the tree but just in case you were wondering what I like, this is it.

Love,
Sheri

This is how I do healthy....

For me I have to start the day on a good foot so I can workout and not feel like I screwed up the day diet wise.  This morning and most others it begins with 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1-2 tablespoons of Kashi GO LEAN, and a handful of blueberries.  I add a little splenda on top to sweeten it. It is important to eat with a smaller container and utensil (baby spoon) to feel like visually I have a good portion and slow down and enjoy the food I have before me.   I have to be careful to actually eat it and not walk away because I lose interest in eating after a few bites.  Courtesy of the RNY.  But I know I need to eat for energy to get the most out my new lifestyle. By the way this lifestyle can be shared by anyone not just WLS patients.



The plans for the morning are off since I have to take Alex for his allergy shots, but right after I am heading to the gym.  It is funny how two years ago I had to drag my ass to the Y and I really hated the elliptical machine.  Still I wouldn't say that running on the treadmill is a highlight for me, but I need it now.  The feeling of accomplishment when I am done(even if I have to talk to myself the entire time of just get it done and stop bitching) is amazing. 

The other fact of eating food that I never would have in the past is another great victory.  Cottage cheese, greek yogurt, twig type of cereal, and fruits and veggies are cravings now.  So yes,  I have come along way since surgery and I don't regret it a minute.

Body Pump...Oh how I missed you!

Last night I joined my aunt and two cousins at the local YMCA for a body pump class.  Last year, I spent many a night at body pump and grew some great muscle tone.  And then for some reason I shifted my workouts to more cardio based activity.  If you follow my blog or life then you know I am training for a 10 mile race in July.  And dare I say it because I might actually do it, but a half marathon in the fall. 

Back to Body Pump, which has  workout that is addictable  felt so good.  The music and rhythm with pumping iron drew me back in.  I can't say that I love exercising in general but I know that I am a much better person when I have gotten a workout in.  I feel selfish putting my needs in front of family time but wow did I feel good last night and even better this morning.  

I know I will be checking the schedule to see when the next class is and plan on being there.  Maybe, I will be a much more toned runner for my race than I am now?  Who knows.....

The sight in the mirror gets to me and I keep praying that money falls in my lap so I can get the tummy tuck which would complete the journey I started Nov 9, 2010. Many people don't understand that until the body looks like what the spirit I feels like than you don't feel like your  done yet. In the meantime I am going to keep working it though.  

~S 

Craptastic Weather

Ladies and Gentleman the weather is totally tanking my attitude and optimism.  I am in need of sunshine and hope that my race day Saturday is going to be sunny but on the cooler side.  Rainy days make me want to curl under a blanket and take a nap!  Good thing I got a solid workout in this morning and plans on tomorrows to get me back to fighting weight.  In other words scale don't let me down.  

But the way I have found that the Glee albums are great for workouts.  The tempo and rhythm are fast enough to keep me at a good pace on the Cybex machine and treadmill.  The added music have made me want to keep going even when my body is saying that is good enough for today.

So for the next few hours I am praying Jake and Evan don't trash the house while Howie is sleeping thus leaving me not having to yell.  Yup, people I am a yeller.  I hate this quality about myself, but I can't break this bad habit.  Maybe I should work on the blanket for Jeff and Tracey's new baby that will be coming in Oct.  Knitting brings the repetition of peace for me.  Well enough with the multitude of blog rambling.  Enjoy the craptastic New England weather.

~S

New Days Ahead

The tired housewife is now retired.  I feel that I need to look ahead to better days and stop thinking of myself as a tired housewife and more like a full of life woman.   So to new beginnings and new blog postings.  Hope you still want to stick around for my new changes.

~S