The past couple years Lisa and I have not spoken more than a few times and usually it was about her and her health needs. Last summer I sent her an email to tell her I was having gastric bypass. She seemed a little take back by it. She said,"Well I hope you don't die." I hope so too. She told me to keep her informed of what was going on and I said I will.
So yesterday I left her a voice mail to tell her I had my date and things were progressing. I guess she was in a grocery store or just didn't want to talk but she is the one that called me back. The phone call was only a couple minutes at best. Is she worried something is going to go bad with the surgery? Is that why she didn't want to talk? Does she care is really the question? I think I have been more than honest that the family dynamics for our siblings have been strained and we count on extended family and friends as our support. This has been the case for many years now. Then why is that I so desperately want my big sister to give me a hug and say it is all going to be okay? Or even I will be there for you if there is anything you need.
And selfishly I want to hear the words I love you Sheri and She will be an aunt to those kids who miss her too. This is one chapter of my life that I want finished. I want my sister back and the person she used to be.
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