You know for a long time I just wanted to be different than who I was. I wanted to be thinner, wear smaller clothes, have longer hair, be a better mom, have more patience and fix what was broken in my life. In the past few months I have had experiences with a few of those things. I wear smaller clothing, I am thinner and I have had longer hair. But does it make me a better person? no. I still am the same mom I always was and the patience is hard to come by. But all in all I know deep down I am a good mom to my boys.
Putting on clothes and seeing the lumps and bumps left by almost 15 years of obesity has left an emotional wound. I don't see the smaller picture of myself and recognize the figure that is slowly developing. However yesterday in dressing room I have come to the conclusion that I get over it.
I went to the mall to find a compression yoga top for the body pump classes I take at the ymca. Except I don't like how you can see all the belly rolls I still have. And I may always have. In the dressing room I thought to myself this body has carried 4 children. I am almost 34 years old and it will never look like a 20 year old with flat tummy unless I get plastic surgery. And considering I have always had a lower belly even when I was 120 in high school it looks like I may have to just get used to it. So did I buy the yoga top at JC Penny? No but I am going to get one soon. And in the meantime I am going to embrace the person I am. Lumps and Bumps and alittle cranky too.
1 comment:
No matter what I am very proud of you and your accomplishments. Plus I fell in love with you them and will always love you no matter what you look like. You are the best mother wife and friend. I love you.
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