Friday, October 7, 2011

Letter 1: Dear Grandma


Dear Grandma,

          When I was deciding who to write my first letter to I wasn’t sure who to begin with.  It only seems fitting that I chose the person who showed me the value of a written letter and who’s letters back to me were always met with fond memories. That being said, you had to be the person I began the challenge with.
          Thank you and I miss you more that I possible ever could convey.   As it is, I am already sitting here crying.  When ever I felt sad or just needed to tell someone something, I could always write to you and I knew that I would get a letter back on white tablet paper with blue ink words of understanding and love.  You never made me feel foolish or dismissed my early teenage thoughts about boyfriends, school or even what was going on in my life at the time.  I don’t think anyone could understand how much those letters meant to me then or now.
          Grandma, I know that I won’t be getting a letter back this time though, but I can’t help but feel that you would if you could.  That somewhere around me you are close by and would be there to support me though these tough times.  I hope you can hear my thoughts and know how much I still need you.  Even if it is only an invisible hug of comfort and strength from up above.
          Please help me to get though what I feel is almost impossible and make my chaos of a life into something calmer.  Give me guidance on how to raise my group of boys and keep my marriage together amongst the struggle.  Some days, I just don’t know if I can do it anymore and just want to crawl back in bed and put the covers over my head.  And today is one of those days.
          There are many things that I know you can hear me saying, but for various reasons can’t be written.  Because sometimes when you say them you can’t take them back.  Give me patience when I am frustrated, help me to feel that this time will pass, that life will go on and things won’t be so hard.  Because today I can’t say that I am fine.  Help me to be the strong woman and stand by my choices and be successful with them. 
          There is so much more I could say but I just don’t know how to say them.  But in the mean time, know that I feel a little bit better knowing that you were and are on my side even if I  can’t actual hear the words spoke aloud but I hear you in my ear whispering that you care and are there.
                                                                   Love Always Your Granddaughter,
                                                                                      Sheri

PS.  Thank you for the organ, that even if it is not in my possession anymore it will forever remain in my heart that you gave it to me.  That and the white poncho with blue pom-poms

                                                         

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